How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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