YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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