I'm going to jail i love you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
