I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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