is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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