Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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