K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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