he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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