my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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