You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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