you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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