if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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