You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
