Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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