There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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