Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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