shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
