Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Are we still banned from the library?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize