and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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