yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
