I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize