Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just gift wrapped bread.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
