Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
