She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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