you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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