My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
