I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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