The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize