I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
