Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
