dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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