Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
even my farts smell like vagina
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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