sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
