I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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