Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
