you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
