haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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