The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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