Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
