I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
