he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
