Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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