He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
