I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The ass gains better be worth it
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