is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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