I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
