I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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