Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
