shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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