And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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