hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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