While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
