Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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