White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
