they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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