I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize