i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize