I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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