it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
