I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
