Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
